My reset moment would have to be the point where I woke up in a hospital bed, bandaged, scared, alone, and feeling desperate.
Waking up from a night that ended in smashing a glass and trying to slit my wrist is not what anyone, at least in my experience, thinks is going to happen to them. I’d hit rock bottom; I was surrounded by friends and yet was positive they all either had hidden agendas or deeply disliked and resented me.
I had no real grounds for this, and to this day it’s something that I struggle to understand, there were the usual moments within friendships, the ups and downs, but nothing that would normally push me anywhere near breaking point like it did. It took that to make me really open my eyes to what I was doing; I was constantly drunk, waking up after nights missing entire hours but not really caring, drinking alone quite a bit, and generally mistreating my mind and my body in any way I could. I had a lot of anger that made me hurt my closest friends, and it all culminated in that one moment.
I’d struggled with depression for a long time before it came to a head, but at the same time I was surrounded by close friends I was also surrounded by people who viewed mental health as a hoax, as something that doesn’t exist, not the chemical imbalance that it is. It was this attitude that made me think I was dealing with what everyone else deals with, but badly.
Once I woke up in that situation and was forced to talk to a doctor about it I took positive action and haven’t looked back since. There are still dark days, but I’ve since opened up a lot more to the people around me and that in itself has helped, and does help to this day.