I watched the ITV programme Tonight regarding men and depression with interest and although it didn’t raise a lot of new facts about the situation men face when they feel they may have this debilitating illness, it did highlight certain aspects that perhaps are overlooked.
Many people who help others with mental health issues, have known for some years that men do suffer mental health problems, potentially as much as women. But the disturbing fact is that few, including the NHS, have taken time out to research the matter and find out what the true underlying problem really is. It’s true that perhaps we can only know an accurate figure if men come forward and that is something they have been reluctant to do. But when suicide rates for men in the 15-34 age bracket are so great compared to females, should alarm bells not have been ringing and the issue not just left to a charity like CALM to try and beat the drum for this blatant problem?
Yes, there is a macho feel amongst a lot of men that they should ‘man-up’, and the old adage ‘big boys don’t cry’ is still prevalent. But when the likes of the boxer Duke McKenzie can come forward along with others in the public domain, why is the issue still not getting the airing that it should?
Maybe that is for another day and the research may provide a host of answers, but the fact is 25% of men polled by the programme said they didn’t understand what depression is. Men can address this one statistic by telling as many of their mates as possible about it, just in case that information is needed. And by needed, I mean before it’s too late and the devastation caused by a suicide is heaped on another family as was seen in the programme. The message is out there about testicular cancer, so let’s move the issue on to mental health.
If you watched the programme last evening and feel you need to speak to someone, then there are plenty of places you can go to. Your GP should be your first port of call, but if you have worries about that, why not speak to someone like CALM first? It will be in confidence, they won’t need to know your name, but you can ask all the questions you want and you will get help and guidance.
One huge message that came from the programme was that thinking you may have depression does not make you less of a person, less of a man or less macho. It also stressed that depression is beatable and there are many, many people out there who can help.
Simon Howes from CALM adds, “All too often people talk about admitting to having depression but admitting to something is linked to shame. You don’t admit to a broken leg do you? It’s time to stop these subliminal messages that keep the lid on blokes talking openly about how tough life can get.”
So, do you need to speak to someone? If you do, why leave it a moment longer? As CALM often say – being silent isn’t being strong…
John Sayer
Counsellor
Visit John Sayer’s blog here: http://john-counselling.blogspot.com/
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I cant afford clothes everyone around me is flash and avoid me like the pleague because my cheap clothes in thinking in taking my life at the end of this month.
Hi Sam, we don’t know if we can help you much with your clothes sense but we’d be glad to talk it through with you if you feel that is a major issue for you at the moment. Please think about talking with us before the end of the month -CALM helpline, 0800 585858, Sat – Tues 5pm to midnight.
I think there is a growing trend of depression that is seriously overlooked; I was finally diagnosed with stress and depression about seven months ago, and still hide it from many people around me. The causes were money, job and relationship – not so bad individually, but all together they became too much to bare over the past 18 months. Having brought me to my knees, I am now recovering slowly from the thoughts of suicide. I am working again, and building a routine to help me through it. There is hope, so long as you choose life.
Sam:
I totally respect your right of choice to do as you will with your life, but as you posted I would like to appeal to you. Style never goes out of fashion! I say this because throughout my 20′s I tried to keep up with everyone else in terms of clothes, phones, cars and it put me in lots of debt. I have just this past month gone into the black, and I am 31. Its not what you have, but how you use it that really matters. I don’t know your story, but think very deeply about how superficial society is just now; are these people worth taking your life for?
Peace to you brother, I hope you find a positive solution soon.
The problem is that talking about it it only helps when problems can be solved by thinking about them differently. It’s buggerall help with unemployment, disability, homelessness and relationship breakdown. There comes a point when talking about it without any realistic possibility of finding solutions to such fundamental neccesities to life gets MORE frustrating, rather than releiving the isolation, because it reinforces the fact that there is no help. There isn’t any help out there to fight for. Been trying that for the last five years and its just like chasing my tail and biting my own arse. Talking is only half the issue. When you’re talking to yourself because nobody is listening it makes a mockery out of this talking is good for you stuff to the extent where it becomes deafening. Most of us have tried it and been met with nothing but lies.
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