Gordon Stribling (@MagicToastUK) takes on THE RANT:
“I consider myself incredibly fortunate to be employed in 2012. Admittedly my job is about as exciting as supervising other people watching paint dry, but at least I have some money coming in. That said, I am still hunting for that elusive ‘first step’ on my career ladder, so I continue to fire applications into the ether in the hope that maybe, one day, I will reach the dizzy heights of earning 15k a year editing curry house menus.
My situation probably isn’t helped by my incredibly Googleable name which would lead any prospective employer to a number of published articles (and even a blog, if they were to dig hard enough) complaining about the apparent futility of looking for work in the current market. However, none of those articles highlight the many new annoyances that job-hunters face on a daily basis. So here, for no reason at all (other than my own catharsis and maybe to make you feel less motivated to apply for a job that I’m interested in), here is a list of the unmentioned issues that make job-hunting today more frustrating than it’s ever been.
They probably won’t get back to you
Back in the old days, if your job application was unsuccessful most employers had the common decency to write or email you saying something along the lines of: ‘Thank you for your application. Unfortunately on this occasion you have been unsuccessful, but we appreciate you taking an interest in our organisation…’. Nowadays you rarely even get that. Admittedly some companies receive hundreds of applications for a single vacancy, but how hard can it be to send a bog-standard email to every unsuccessful applicant? Not very hard, in case you were wondering.
A CV and cover letter isn’t enough
Many employers these days require that you do all number of time-consuming things in order to get an interview. By far the most annoying, and the most common, is the online application form. While they are often kind enough to use software designed to import your CV and cover letter to populate their application form, it rarely works properly so you almost always end up spending hours reformatting everything just so that it makes some kind of sense. Then you get to the last page where they have the cheek to ask you to complete a ‘personal statement’ or some other nonsense that has you have already covered elsewhere. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!
An interview isn’t enough, either
You used to know what to expect from an interview. You’d sit in a nice room with your prospective boss and Marie from HR, reel off some bullshit about how your teenage job in McDonald’s provided you with transferable skills vital for the role of Management Consultant, shake hands and go home. These days though, even low-end jobs can require that you attend an individual interview, then an embarrassing group interview involving thought experiments and performance pieces about company values, and then (if you’ve sufficiently wowed your potential boss, Marie from HR AND an unidentified man with nicotine-stained teeth who shakes his head whenever you say anything), you get to do the entrance exam. And if you don’t make the grade…well, there’s no point in telling you, is there?
Job market and economic forecasting
I admit I have no idea how this works. But then I don’t think the ‘experts’ do either. One minute things are apparently picking up and the next minute we’re back in a recession again. I’d have to be an economist to see past the headlines, but then if I was an economist I’d probably have a job and wouldn’t care anyway.
So that’s it. Oh, and if any prospective employers are reading, please be reassured that none of the above applies to you. I think your week-long interview bootcamp would provide me with a wonderful opportunity to prove myself while learning about your fabulous organisation. And where did you get that shirt? The colour really suits you.”
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If I had a pound for all the hours I have spent attending interviews, or applying for jobs, I’d be able to retire. Interviews are a total and utter waste of time, because there is absolutely no “standard” set down, by which one can be “measured” and because most interviewers haven’t a clue what they are doing or what it is they are trying to find out. In the field of Information Technology, in particular, it is too customary to give candidates a questionnaire, which will only highlight what they don’t know, rather than what they do or what skills they have. It’s a bit like asking a doctor to give you all the side effects of the most obscure medication, that they are probably never likely to come across, rather than asking them where they would go to find out about it!
I have also been involved in interviews where my colleague who was supposed to be asking the questions, was more interested in mentioning the tea lady, than asking the poor interviewees anything about themselves. Needless to say, we hired the wrong person!
Only recently, I attended an interview where I wasn’t actually asked anything about myself. Instead, I was asked if I wanted to ask any questions. When I did, I was greeted with “I don’t know”!! The “guided tour” was a farce, because the fool who was supposed to be interviewing me, didn’t have the keys with him! I was unsuccessful, of course. I suspect they didn’t like my tie or my suit, or perhaps the other candidate was an Australian, ex model (I’ve had that one – quite literally – done to me, too!)
I may write a book about all the times I’ve been messed around, either in the application stages (what is it with these lazy indviiduals who can’t read CVs and who absolutely INSIST you have to fill in their application form, which usually has boxes that are far too small for what you have to write?).
Then there are the agencies, who telephone me to ask if I’m interested in a position they claim to have and, of course, they ask me for references prior to even offering me an interview. I never give in! All they’re looking for is a route into another company, where I worked before, hoping to get some business and, boy, do they get mad when the realise I’ve “rumbled” them!
I wouldn’t be able to write an article for CALM, because it would probably enter the realms of a small book, but I admit I am seriously considering writing something; perhaps a website.
To all you who have faced these trials and tribulations (and those who will), unfortunately, until someone wakes up and realises the job hiring process is absolutely and fundamentally flawed, I’m afraid we have to live with it!
As a final note, I went for an interview a few years ago, at a place where I really knew I would do well. They turned me down, because, they said, they were concerned that my seniority (not my age, but my experience) would mean that I wouldn’t be prepared to undertake the more “menial” tasks. A year later, I was approached by them to “fill in” while the person who had been successful, took extended leave. I accepted, but did ask why they wanted me, after their reason for not hiring me in the first place. Within a week of my starting, one of the people who had interviewed and turned me down, came and apologised to me most profusely, saying they admitted they had hired the wrong person! Unfortunately, they couldn’t keep me on “permanently”. I put that one down to experience, too, but did enjoy my time with them!
Keep on trying. Unfotunately, it’s the only way. Maybe someone, somewhere, somehow will realise that a lot of people are unemployed just because some employers are unable to see their qualities.
This article by Gordon is great, so true! And the ending is amazing! It looks like you have some solid interview experience! : ) I’ll try to be positive and present you how do I cope with this. They almost never reply but sometimes I try to call them, as they are not going to call me. However, this is not possible in most cases. Filing so many online forms and answering questions in a text box is quite frustrating and I have a big file from where I copy-paste
. The thing with the interviews is really interesting indeed as when you secure interviews, it doesn’t mean you secure a job. So, yeah, more interviews, more chances. I think is very important to not get down because they didn’t call you or they rejected you. Improve your job hunting technique but don’t think it’s all about you. It really … to be unemployed and a job hunter, I confirm.