Coming Soon

The leading release for the British male

What irritates you? Simple as that. Below are the pet hates of the CALM team, the things that leave us chewing our cheeks with frustration.

• My ‘pint-to-piss’ ratio becoming synchronised with a complete stranger in my local pub
• Not being able to unscrew the lid on a jar when asked to by a female
• Getting spotted adding X’s at the end of text messages

Study out today claims men who sleep in double beds end up stupider because their partners disturb their sleep. If that were true I’d be chairman of MENSA and top brainbox in the Guinness Book of Records.

Yep, my female drought continues. I might have forgotten about it by now if the lads didn’t keep pointing it out. I’m sticking to the same...

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