When I was a kid I had a whole variety of different games consoles, Spectrum, Atari, Sega, SNES and Game Boy. They never broke on me. In fact, what ones I still have, still work. Now whether this is down to superior manufacturing or down to my more active childhood pursuits keeping me away from hours of gaming glory is a debate for another time. But surely I shouldn’t be on my third Xbox 360 in 4 years?!
Xbox 1) I got it the year after launch, at the time there really weren’t many quality games for it, so it barely got used. So despite infrequent playing it still managed to last just shy of a year. One day I plonked a game into the disc tray only for the disc tray to die. YOU WILL NOT PLAY. So a swift call to Microsoft (especially as my warranty was nearly up) and a few days later a replacement was sent out, free of charge.
Xbox 2) After discovering the addictive joy of the Mass Effect franchise and then the time sapping past time of being a Battlefield sniper, this particular Xbox had a lot of work to do. Two and a bit years later, during a rather intense skirmish on ‘Atacama Desert’ my TV flickers, the colours become all purple and green before fading to black. The graphics card had died and I wailed like a small boy who had scraped his knees. I felt lost and wept myself to sleep that night, mourning my heavy loss. A fruitless call to Microsoft only resulted in me finding out that I needed £100 to fix my tired old machine. Pffffft, for an extra £50 I could get a shiny new and improved black “Elite” version complete with 3 years warranty. Decision made
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Xbox 3) A few days of not being able to kill people on Battlefield had made my judgment and morals questionable, so when the lovely UPS man delivered my new Elite Xbox I hungrily ripped it open and set it up. With my old HDD plugged in for now, the data transfer would have to wait; I switched it on and coolly grasped the controller. Instantly something was amiss. It didn’t feel right. Then I realized. Where was the Force 5 Tornado like noise spewing from the disc tray as it read the disc?! It wasn’t there. It was as silent as a Ninja. Oh the joy!! I instantly halved the volume on my TV to take my noise pollution level below that of a Boeing 747 and went on a pixel murder rampage.
Through all this, my trusty 4th generation PS3 chugs along, as reliable as a politician is slimy – touch wood. Okay, it doesn’t quite get the attention that my lovely Battlefield Xbox gets, but when needed it has never let me down. From this experience we can learn 2 things. Don't get the first revision of a new games console and Microsoft owe me £150. B*****ds.
Volatile Train - July 20th 2010