Sexuality
Sexuality is a big issue. Deciding what side you bat for isn't always easy. While the British gay community is more visible than ever, it's still sometimes hard for young men to come out in their own community. In fact, sexuality is the third highest reason why people get in touch with CALM.
Some people are only attracted to people of the same sex. Others are attracted to both men and women in varying degrees. People can change, or be unsure of their sexuality.
Loads of people feel drawn to someone of their own sex at some point in their lives. But finding someone attractive doesn't necessarily mean you're gay, and it certainly doesn't mean you're mad or weird. For some, these feelings are just part of deciding what turns them on and what doesn't. They're testing the water. For some men, they decide it feels right and that they prefer blokes rather than girls.
- If you're asking questions about your sexuality, then maybe you're just not ready to give yourself a label. That's alright. Working it out takes time and is completely normal.
- Nobody knows what makes someone gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight. You don't choose your sexuality. It's not due to your upbringing or the people you hang around with. Sometimes it just 'is' - like your hair colour or your shoe size.
- Being gay, lesbian or bisexual is normal. You haven't done anything wrong. Unfortunately, some people feel threatened by things they don't understand and say or do things that are against people that aren't straight. Because of this, you may be tempted to keep quiet or pretend that you're straight. The trouble is, you can't hide your feelings forever. What's more, why the hell should you have to? You have a right to be proud of who you are.
It can feel lonely and isolating to realise that your sexuality is different to that of your friends, particularly if you don't know anyone else who's in the same boat. It's good to talk to like-minded people. Find out how they coped and what they went through. Perhaps pick up some tips about how to deal with awkward questions. There are plenty of national and local support groups. Call CALM and we'll put you in touch.
Other places you can get help
Brook Advisory
Provides free, confidential sex advice and contraception to all young people under 25.
Tel: 0800 0185 023 (calls are free except to some mobiles, open Monday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm).
www.brook.org.uk
London Gay and Lesbian Switchboard
Provides confidential advice and support on any issues relevant to lesbian, gay and bisexual people including general info, HIV & safer sex, legal problems, social activities, coming out and general health.
Tel: 020 7837 7324 (charged at national rates, open 24 hours, 7 days a week).
www.llgs.org.uk
Mens Health Matters
Advice and support by trained nurses in a range of medical issues affecting men.
Tel: 020 8995 4448
Sexwise
Free phone line giving the chance to talk to an adviser about sex and personal relationships.
Tel: 0800 28 29 30
General resources for Sexuality & Sexual Health:
- Provides facts and information on treatment for erectile dysfunction and prostate diseases.
www.malehealth.com