Bereavement

“For me, the last couple of years have been rough. There have been periods when I have been very depressed and I’ve lost all enthusiasm to live. I’ve just turned 24.

Two years ago my uncle died. He was my closest relative, we always used to have a laugh, and if I had something on my mind I could always talk to him. My Dad split when I was six so my uncle was more of a father to me – when he was gone I didn’t feel right and couldn’t cope.

I started to get angry – with other people and myself; little things would make me depressed and I’d fly off the handle. It might be something really small, that I wouldn’t normally be bothered about. When I was out with my mates I would act as if nothing was wrong, but I started looking at everyone in a different way, as if the world was against me. Looking back now, I turned quite nasty; I started drinking a lot and picked fights. To top it all off, I lost my job because of my attitude and it was pretty much the last straw.

I found about CALM from the back of a bus ticket. When I first called I felt quite embarrassed; but I’m so glad I made the call. It was good to be able to get it all off my chest. It helped a lot. Don’t get me wrong – I still miss my uncle, but I realise I’m not the only one who has to deal with this stuff, and that’s reassuring.

Fortunately, I have begun to feel a lot happier with my life now. I’ve got a new job and I feel more relaxed. If I hadn’t called I don’t know what I’d feel like now. Since then, I’ve had a chat with one of my mates about it; I didn’t realise he had a few things on his mind as well. So I’ve been able to support him a bit, and pass on the CALM number if he feels like talking to someone else – and that’s made me feel good.”