Relationships

“I don’t know where to start…the past couple of years have been mental…

I’m from east London but moved to Manchester with my girlfriend Jess about a year ago. Loads of stuff had been happening in my life. My folks split up and I was angry and pissed off and started acting the big man nicking cars and stuff. To cut a long story short, it all got out of hand and I got myself into a mess. I decided it was time to get out.

My girlfriend was a star. We’d been going out on and off since school and she’d always stood by me. I was really shy at school so she was my best mate as well as my girlfriend.

When things got heavy down in London, Jess suggested a fresh start up in Manchester where one of her friends was at Uni. It seemed the perfect solution. We managed to get a flat, and although we didn’t have much, it was our place. Jess got a job in a call centre and her friend encouraged her to take a night course at a local college. I didn’t see much of her, and I was trying to find work myself.

I was really fed up – I felt alone, in a strange city, with no job, friends, or money. We started to argue. Jess would go mad because I wasn’t ‘making an effort’ to sort myself out, and said I was just being lazy and feeling sorry for myself. This knocked me for six. Jess had always been there for me and I needed her to understand how I was feeling. In the end, we had a massive row and she packed a bag and went to stay with her mate. I tried phoning her all night but she wouldn’t take any of my calls.

I felt desperate and really needed to sound off to someone. I had no friends or family to speak of so called CALM. I’d heard their number on the radio. I felt awkward and a bit stupid for calling, but the bloke I spoke to was really good and calmed me down. He let me talk about everything that has been going on. We talked about visiting my GP to talk things through but I wasn’t keen, so he suggested a local sports centre to help me de-stress. We also talked about the possibility that I might be too dependent on Jess and perhaps needed to give her some space. I decided to call her the next day when I was calmer to talk about what had gone wrong, and what we each wanted.

I’m much more sorted now. A few months have passed since then and I can’t say it’s been easy. Jess and I have split up – I miss her loads and want her back but I realise that I have to stand on my own two feet. I’ve decided to stay in Manchester. I’ve got a job, and I get on OK with the lads at work and have been out a couple of times with them. I don’t know if Jess and I will ever get back together but whatever happens, I’m grateful that I called CALM – they helped me sort a lot of stuff out.”