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FIRST PERSON: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

“Hey, I’m Jacob, 19 from Cornwall. I discovered CALM through a magazine i was reading and decided to check it out.

I have always known the feeling of depression, when one thing hits you all the other problems in your life fall on top. Or at least that’s how i feel. I suffer from OCD that i have pills for and they also help with the depression (kind of).  I’m really not what you call “a social butterfly” i tend to stay in a lot, as i kinda get nervous when i go out. BUT CALM makes me feel better, just going on the website and having a look around, and having a read shows you’re not the only one.

It’s super hard to talk about but here it goes…

Everyday i worry about my body, if that’s a bump, if’s that’s the big C-CANCER. I mean sometimes i really really work my self up and kind of have a panic attack. I live everyday worrying about every little thing on my body, is that ok!? Is this ok!? Even have spent ages in the shower just checking myself.

I worry A LOT about fires, so if i touch a plug i have to do it 4 times, because that is a even number, if i don’t it will bug the living hell outta me! I will turn back and go and do it, it takes a lot of will power for me not too! My room HAS to be spotless! I even pick up bits off the floor cause i just can’t stand it. Every morning i have to do a routine. I have a shower routine, which takes around 25mins, then when putting a t-shirt on i have to make sure the collar is straight up and there is nothing, no bits of fluff or anything, on my shirt. Then I take my pills and clean my room, clean my glasses, every little bit, then rub my nose up twice and down twice, maybe down a couple more times depending on how i feel, cause i think if i rub it too many times up i think i will get a pig nose. Then rub my forehead up, cause i think my fore head skin might droop. Then i rub my hands a specific way, rubbing my nails back etc. I sometimes have to stroke my shoes down as i hate bumps of fluff on things.
This is as much as i can speak about.
I don’t think i have been this open before, so i hope some people (like me) get to read this and realise they’re not the only ones out there and that CALM is here to help.

Thanks CALM, keep doing what you’re doing.”

If you have any experiences you want to share with us and our readers, please contact [email protected]

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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article or in the comments below, are not those held by CALM or its Trustees unless stated, and liability cannot be accepted for such comments. We encourage friendly and constructive debate, but please don't share personal contact details when commenting and exercise caution when considering any advice offered by others. We don’t allow abusive, offensive or inappropriate comments or comments that could be interpreted as libellous, defamatory or commercial and we will remove these without warning as and when we find them.

3 Responses to this article

  1. Hey Jacob,

    Well done on writing that article – it doesn’t sound like it was an easy thing for you to do. Perhaps sharing some of these things made you feel good somehow? I think it’s brave anyway. It was honest and insightful and it gives someone like me (who doesn’t have OCD) a better understanding.

    I enjoyed reading your article and sure others have too.

    All the best. al

    fishlegs1984 26th August 2012 at 4:47 pm
  2. Hey! Thanks man. It was rather hard to write, but was nice to think other people, like me might be reading it.

    Really means a lot dude.

    Jacob Stephen 27th August 2012 at 6:43 pm
  3. Hi Jacob,

    What a great piece, and well done on writing about it – what you’re doing will really help others, and it takes a lot of guts to talk about stuff. Well done chap, *hearty pat on the back*.

    have a cracking week – what a great way to start it.


    Chris Owen 8th October 2012 at 9:48 am

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