Need help? Call our helpline…

5pm–midnight, 365 days a year …or find help online here


0800 58 58 58


Need help? Call our helpline 0800 58 58 58
or Use our WEBCHAT.

FIRST PERSON: Under The Weather

“Its 11.51am on a Wednesday, it’s cloudy, overcast, miserable, the rain is lashing down and my tummy is starting to rumble. I am a man just like any other except I am unemployed, money is tight, but at least I am happy.

Who am I? Who do I want to be? None of that matters now.  Or does it? I spent most of my life in education.  I wasn’t born rich so I thought I would go for the other attribute to fortune, knowledge. My mind often dips in and out of the darkness, some days I am good, others I hardly see the point of rising from my bed if it wasn’t for my stomach.

I feel sluggish and do not want to do anything but when I do, I feel better. The more I do, the better I feel and so on and so forth. Both time and answering to yourself, and only you,  are important.  I like to construct and paint scale models, as I find this a form of meditation. I enjoy calling up friends for a chat or popping out to meet them in the pub for company. I am trying to keep fit and have a loose routine, and in the meantime just try and learn more, as well as applying for jobs and toying with the prospect of setting up a business for myself. Through keeping busy and concentrating on these things, I begin to find my inner self.  They provide me not only with a source of serenity but also a focus, an outlet to sharpen my skills and to temper my steel for the next round of job hunting, accruing revenue, or the ongoing battle to get my life back.

Over time, the mist of uncertainty begins to lift with each action. After listing things during the free listing weekends on eBay I know that perhaps I may have a little extra revenue, I feel good about my craftsmanship and the paint job on my scale models and my friends help lift my spirits at those times when I feel crushed under the weight of my own thoughts.

I remember a quote I once read by Mahatma Gandhi: ‘Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned’. No matter what you feel – sadness or anger – and regardless to who may be responsible, just let it go. It does not matter. What matters is YOU and your ability to reach out towards happiness. If someone steals your car, getting angry or frustrated will only waste a little bit of your precious time and energy, it won’t get your car back. You remain in the same position with no benefit gained from the anger and frustration.  Instead, it adds to the problem and a resolution will remain out of your grasp. As human beings, it can be difficult at times to control our emotions, but if we endeavour to at least understand them, as well as developing a better understanding of ourselves, our problems will be more easily overcome.”

Related issues

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article or in the comments below, are not those held by CALM or its Trustees unless stated, and liability cannot be accepted for such comments. We encourage friendly and constructive debate, but please don't share personal contact details when commenting and exercise caution when considering any advice offered by others. We don’t allow abusive, offensive or inappropriate comments or comments that could be interpreted as libellous, defamatory or commercial and we will remove these without warning as and when we find them.

Related Articles

  • FIRST PERSON: Losing Jack

    FIRST PERSON: Losing Jack

    Megan Rutter deals with the loss of her best friend and subsequent depression.

  • The Beast That Knows You Best

    The Beast That Knows You Best

    The core of this fight is activity; don’t think, do; don’t dwell on a crappy yesterday, push for a better today.

  • FIRST PERSON: A Brave New Year

    FIRST PERSON: A Brave New Year

    If a time can exist where people have the opportunity to fully express the feelings that besiege them then let it be now and may that support continue.

  • FIRST PERSON: Misfit

    FIRST PERSON: Misfit

    “Why am i fine now? I talked.” Dean O’Neill deals with his Bi-Polar disorder.

Latest Articles