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FIRST PERSON: Bottom of the Bottle

Recently I have decided to give up drinking. I haven’t actually told anyone this yet as they would all just laugh at me and offer me a pint.  It was a hard decision to make. I love socialising and I love having a few drinks with friends. But a few often leads to a whole lot of trouble and I inevitably end up an emotional wreck crying into my rum whilst telling my friends to F*** off.

I recently told some very close friends about my problems and how I have been bottling them up. Before I spoke to them I always used to drown my sorrows.  It always seemed a good idea at the time. Then I would wake up in the morning with texts of worry from friends and parents asking if I was OK and where I was. I was becoming a concern to others.

I used to drink a lot when I was in my early 20’s – work in the day, booze at night, pass out for an hour and then go back to work again. This pattern is worryingly normal for many young adults in today’s society, but that doesn’t mean it’s a way of life. I think it covers up a lot of problems, as it did with me. I used alcohol to forget. To be that confident person and to bring attention to myself.

Whilst drunk I didn’t worry about my bills, debt or any responsibility I might have had. I was free – until I woke up the next day and all the problems came flooding back. So what did I do? I carried on drinking. Luckily for me, i eventually stopped this cycle and got my life back on track. I focused on my girlfriend (another story for another time) to pull me out of my depression and combat my self destructive drinking habits.

In the last 6 months, though, my world fell apart and I ended up looking at the bottom of a bottle on more than one occasion. Unsurprisingly the problems i faced, once again, didn’t go away, but I did realise drinking was part of the problem, not the solution, and to help myself I needed to stop.

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