Lords, ladies and Gentlemen,
Here’s the thing. I like a girl. She’s great. Unfortunately, although she likes me, she may have been stolen by another suitor. This sucks, but dammit, I’m not giving up without a fight. In casual conversation I made a joke that I might wear armour the next time I see her. Women love knights, right? I’ve seen the movies…
Of course, I have now rented a knight’s costume, and I am going to look like a tool. In addition, if the damsel decides to run away with the other man I’m going to look like such an utter fuckwit I’m not sure any kingdom will accept me afterwards. Additionally, you can only rent a knight’s costume for a week at a time. My personal success or failure aside, what the hell am I going to do with a knight’s costume for a whole week? Wait… a… minute…
To legitimise my week-long costume wearing, and to maximise my chances of getting laid, I’m raising money for charity. A good one. CALM campaigns to enable men speak out more about their problems and seek help when they need it, because suicide is the biggest single killer of young men in the UK.
So that’s the pitch – I get laid, lives get saved.
Also, together we will figure out the answers to some really important questions:
How do you poop when you’re wearing armour?
Can I ride a bike wearing this stuff?
If I’m moronic enough to pull this off, can we make Knight Week an annual event for a great charity, rivalling the behemoth that is Movember, perhaps?
On Friday 20th September I will be having a Big Knight Out. I’m not yet sure what that means but you’re all invited.
The link to make a donation is www.justgiving.com/Lee-Bofkin. Thanks y’all for your help and feel free to share this article about the place to help raise even more cash!
You can follow Lee and his Knight based shenanigans on twitter HERE