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FIRST PERSON: No Man Is An Island

In life you are relied upon and you rely on others; your family, your friends, your partner. It’s a major part of our lives – we are social animals, after all. The problem is that sometimes relying on someone too much can make everything fall apart.

Over the last 7 years I relied on one person more than anyone else. My girlfriend. We went out together, we stayed in together, we had the same friends but in late January this year that all changed. She fell out of love with me and my life fell apart. The rock I once had around me 24/7 was gone and I was expected to go it alone.

I started to go out with the lads to take my mind off it, but all that did was open up the old problems I had with drinking. Every weekend I drank until I passed out, or was sick. I drank to fill the void that had appeared in my previously harmonious life. Slowly but surely over the months following the break up, however, I managed to dig myself out of the hole I had made, with the help of my friends.

The cause of falling into this depression wasn’t solely due to my girlfriend leaving, but also had a lot to do with the fact that I had isolated myself from my mates and pushed everyone else away apart from her over the 7 years we were together. I thought all we needed was each other. I was wrong, but with her help and support from my friends, I managed to find myself again. I’ve learnt that you need to be able to trust a whole group of people, not just one person.

If you only ever rely on one person for emotional support and they leave or can’t be relied upon, what options are you left with? Since I’ve opened up to my friends and my ex girlfriend about my depression, I feel that i’ve become a better person and more trusting. I no longer rely on one person, but instead have surrounded myself with friends and family that make me happy and will listen when I need someone to talk to.

I still have a best friend that I trust over anyone, but even if she was to leave I know I have friends and family who will look after me and I won’t be alone. Talking helps, but if you can manage to talk about your problems to more than one person you will realise how many people are willing to listen.

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