Need help? Call our helpline

5pm–midnight, 365 days a year
Need help? Call our helpline 0800 58 58 58
or Use our WEBCHAT.

YOUR VOICE: Cheer up, it may never happen…

One line that always grates on me is “Cheer up, it may never happen.” Granted, it is just one of many lines that rile me, such as being asked if you’re ok when sitting in a doctors waiting room or “well he/she is in a better place now” after someone has died, but when it comes to hatred of pleasantries, the “cheer up” one beats the lot.

Let’s break it down. “Cheer up.” I’m sure if it were as easy as that then governments would have PA systems dotting the country regularly telling everyone to cheer up. I have never cheered up because someone has told me to do so.  Do people believe that this will actually work?  Are these the same people who believe that if you walk around with a forced smile on your face then you will become happy? I tried this and I looked like I had trapped wind all day, which did not make me happy at all.

The latter part of the line, however, is what really pisses me off: “It may never happen”.  Unless they are the Time Lord or Sam Beckett (surely everyone remembers Quantum Leap, right?) then how do they know what may or may not happen?  I am often perceived as a miserable person. I know I walk around with a frown a lot of the time, however how do they know what will or won’t happen? They don’t.  And neither do i, which is probably why i’m frowning.

When people say “it may never happen”, do they know what you’re thinking?  Do they have an ability to read minds? Do they have any clue at all about what kind of day you are having? Usually I have more than 1 thought in my head at once, with every single scenario played out to ensure that whatever ‘it’ may be doesn’t actually happen. My belief for a long time has been that only through thinking, planning and worrying about what may or may not happen, can I fully prepare myself for what life brings.  Everyone deals with the unknown in different ways, and this is how I cope with the stuff life slings at me.

Everyone processes data differently and that’s what makes us unique. Some are gifted with rapid thinking, others take longer to reach a result, and others baffle scientists, I’m sure.

What people sometimes fail to understand or recognise is that for some people, like myself, every process/conversation/situation plays and replays in my mind, I find myself questioning everything that has been said, every decision, every possible outcome and alternative scenario, until my body gives in and I finally fall asleep for my usual 3 hours a night.

I know saying ‘cheer up’ it is essentially a way for people to show they care, before people say I’m being rude etc, however I view this in the same light as people saying “I’m here if you need anything”, when obviously the “anything” is not a literal anything.  I often wonder how far I could take the sentiment.  Well, I need a holiday, mate, and you did say anything

All I ask is please do not patronise, do not assume that things will get better when you have no idea what I’m thinking, or what I am experiencing.  Do not tell me to cheer up and certainly do not advise me that you are there if I need anything, or you might find yourself with a very large credit card bill…

Related issues

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article or in the comments below, are not those held by CALM or its Trustees unless stated, and liability cannot be accepted for such comments. We encourage friendly and constructive debate, but please don't share personal contact details when commenting and exercise caution when considering any advice offered by others. We don’t allow abusive, offensive or inappropriate comments or comments that could be interpreted as libellous, defamatory or commercial and we will remove these without warning as and when we find them.

Related Articles