I feel it closing off the light
And cutting off my air.
It’s taking over all my thoughts,
It gets in everywhere.
The Blanket’s thick and stifling,
Restrictive, dark as night.
And when it’s on me I can’t move
Or think or speak or fight.
When it’s on tight I’m paralysed,
My muscles all lock down.
Then once it works from the inside
It really goes to town.
It tells me that my life is bad,
It tells me I don’t care.
It makes me question everything,
It tells me life’s not fair.
It makes me ask if I should live,
It tells me I should die.
It saps away my energy,
I cannot even cry.
It scares me, the control it has,
How quickly it appears.
It latches on to anything,
It heightens all my fears.
I have to let it run its course
And trust that I’ll be fine.
I have to ignore all its thoughts
And focus just on mine.
I have to know I’m not alone,
There’s others in this war.
I’ve seen a loved one lose her fight,
Which left me on the floor.
I am determined it won’t win,
I won’t allow it to.
I will triumph in the end
(I really hope that’s true).
I’m taking one day at a time,
And dreaming about when
I can throw the Blanket off for good
And feel the sun again.
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