A week goes by and still no response from this dream interview, no response at all.
Emails from those sympathy applications keep appearing in my inbox, and they read like a malnourished Shakespeare: Words with no soul, a tragedy like Macbeth, written by a Dalek.
This job search game is not for the faint-hearted. Every form, every email, brings up bad memories of past rejections and mistakes made in interviews; it’s the opposite of a euphoric recall.
But, it gets me thinking about all the terrible interviews I’ve been to and the feedback I’d love to give to the interviewers…
- Switch off your phone: One interviewer’s phone went off right as I was explaining how expertly I would deal with a superhuman task.
- Be respectful: Another yawned while I was replying to one of his questions. He told me he hadn’t slept much that night. Great.
- Get my name correct: I’ve been called many things in my time. In fact my mum still calls me by the dog’s name, and the dog’s been dead 10 years.
- Be on time: Two turned up late and I was left waiting. I did consider leaving in favour of that nice little café by the office. They serve Jaffa cheesecake there (never had one before).
- Don’t discuss what’s on the box: My interviewers decided to chat about TV shows that featured John Thaw. This truly happened.
Through all the repetitive monotonous questions I’ve been asked in interviews, through all the blood, sweat and tears, it all leads to that one phone call. The one that will end all this heartache. And, my friends, it will come one day…
“Hi Mark, it’s XXXXX here, how you doing?”
“I’m living the dream, thanks for asking. Yourself?”
“I’m really good thanks, Mark. I thought I’d give you a call about the interview we had with you…”
(Trying to remember what I said.)
“We really liked meeting you and we came to the conclusion we’d like to offer you the job.”
(Explosion in my head of euphoria. It feels like the first time drinking a Malteaser milkshake.)
I play it all Fonzie: “WOW, thank you so much.”
“We’ll send you over the details in the next few days. It was a pleasure, Mark, and we look forward to working together.”
There you have it. The job was got, and it was gotten by me because I asked for help. I swallowed the pride that has got me nowhere for so long, and I asked someone with job searching experience, who knows how to get that dream role, for their advice. They taught me to be patient and careful by re-reading forms, re-reading my passionate non-template cover letter and – hold on a minute, let me take this in for a second…..OH MY GOD I asked for help!
Asking for help is the biggest ally, defeating pride and leading to wonderful opportunities.
Finally my lovelies, my friends, we’ve made it to the top of those Rocky steps.
It’s all beer and skittles from now on…..
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