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FIRST PERSON: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

"Hey, I'm Jacob, 19 from Cornwall. I discovered CALM through a magazine i was reading and decided to check it out.

I have always known the feeling of depression, when one thing hits you all the other problems in your life fall on top. Or at least that's how i feel. I suffer from OCD that i have pills for and they also help with the depression (kind of). I'm really not what you call "a social butterfly" i tend to stay in a lot, as i kinda get nervous when i go out. BUT CALM makes me feel better, just going on the website and having a look around, and having a read shows you're not the only one.

It's super hard to talk about but here it goes...

Everyday i worry about my body, if that's a bump, if's that's the big C-CANCER. I mean sometimes i really really work my self up and kind of have a panic attack. I live everyday worrying about every little thing on my body, is that ok!? Is this ok!? Even have spent ages in the shower just checking myself.

I worry A LOT about fires, so if i touch a plug i have to do it 4 times, because that is a even number, if i don't it will bug the living hell outta me! I will turn back and go and do it, it takes a lot of will power for me not too! My room HAS to be spotless! I even pick up bits off the floor cause i just can't stand it. Every morning i have to do a routine. I have a shower routine, which takes around 25mins, then when putting a t-shirt on i have to make sure the collar is straight up and there is nothing, no bits of fluff or anything, on my shirt. Then I take my pills and clean my room, clean my glasses, every little bit, then rub my nose up twice and down twice, maybe down a couple more times depending on how i feel, cause i think if i rub it too many times up i think i will get a pig nose. Then rub my forehead up, cause i think my fore head skin might droop. Then i rub my hands a specific way, rubbing my nails back etc. I sometimes have to stroke my shoes down as i hate bumps of fluff on things.
This is as much as i can speak about.
I don't think i have been this open before, so i hope some people (like me) get to read this and realise they're not the only ones out there and that CALM is here to help.

Thanks CALM, keep doing what you're doing."

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