Summer’s a time lots of us look forward to, but for many the long sunny days can highlight darker times. Our helpline receives 25% more calls in summer, that’s why we’re asking you to donate to help us answer over 18,000 potentially life-saving calls.
20th June 2023
Giancarlo: I wish my brother had used the helpline, it could have saved his life
When Lanfranco took his own life in 2012 there were no obvious signs he’d been struggling. We spoke to his brother Giancarlo who told us why the webchat is so important in offering a space to chat if you’re finding it hard to tell your family or mates how you feel.
Lots of us turn to the internet when we need answers for stuff, from everyday things like asking how long it takes to boil an egg, to the bigger stuff like asking how to get support when you’re finding things tough.
CALM launched the webchat in 2013 - an online service that’s helped thousands of people to get help, especially when picking up the phone or talking to someone is hard.
It’s a service that Giancarlo wishes was available to his brother Lanfranco, who often turned to the internet for answers before turning to the people closest to him:
“The webchat is great because so often people ask the internet questions when they need help and it feels like you’re just searching for something online. Lots of us are more used to typing messages than talking on the phone. The webchat makes it easier to ask for help because it doesn’t feel too connected so you can show more vulnerability.”
Lanfranco was super tight with his family. He hung out with his brothers regularly, playing football and touring in a band, but nobody knew how difficult Lanfranco was finding things:
“Lanfranco never mentioned he was suffering at any point. He was always the most positive person in the room, always smiling and nothing was ever too much of a challenge.”
Giancarlo says that the only clue that Lanfranco was struggling to cope was an unusually long phone call the week before he died, but it wasn’t clear how tough he was finding things.
“The last time we spoke he talked about career stuff and finding things tricky. Guys don’t tend to talk for long on the phone, but I didn’t think much of it. People often describe the times they’re struggling as ‘the perfect storm’. There’s all these things that happen at the same time that feel insurmountable.
"I think Lanfranco felt like a failure even though we all thought he was winning at life.”
Since losing his brother to suicide, Giancarlo’s raised thousands of pounds through the Mental Health World Cup, a charity football tournament started in Lanfranco’s memory. Giancarlo and his family support CALM so they can help people like Lanfranco.
“When you lose someone to suicide you feel helpless because you feel like you should have seen the signs or been there to stop it. We can’t change what happened but we can help stop other families going through what we did.”
Help us to pick up the phone to people like Lanfranco. This summer, we’re asking you to donate to our helpline and webchat, so we can continue to be there for anyone struggling. Your donation could be life-saving.
