30th January 2024

How to: Talk about money

Name: Campaign Against Living Miserably
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How-Tos I'm Struggling Money Worries

I'm Struggling Money Worries Advice

Skint, broke, hard up - there’s a bunch of words for being short on cash, but it can be hard to find the right ones when it comes to talking about money stresses. 1 in 4 of us worry about money daily, that’s huge. If financial worries are piling up and impacting your head, here’s some useful stuff to help you talk about money and your mental health.

Since the cost of living crisis began, our services have seen a 43% increase in chats about cash. Despite this, there’s still a big stigma when it comes to talking about money. In fact, it’s considered more of a taboo topic than mental wellbeing.

Most of us have worried about money at some point, but that doesn’t make telling your mate you can’t afford that night out any less awkward, or make the sinking feeling when you go into your overdraft any less grim. Sadly we can’t magic up a milli in your bank account, but we can give you some tips on talking about dosh instead.

1. It’ll feel cringe, but the more you do it the easier it gets

We get it, the UK just isn’t good at this stuff. Our socially awkward country finds it hard enough to eat an egg sarnie in public, let alone open up about the depths of financial anxieties.

Normalise conversations about money and the cost of things, even if you’re not struggling. It’ll help you and your mates to feel more comfortable chatting about it in the future. There’s no denying that life’s expensive at the moment, so the more comfy we can make each other when money chats come up, the better.

Make talks less awkward by bringing things up when you’re out for a walk, playing a game or making dinner - it can feel easier than being face to face. And once you chat about cash, you’ll realise it’s not so bad, especially when people around you relate.

2. There’s loads of free financial advice out there

Sometimes it’s just better to let the pro’s handle it. If your stresses about moolah are mounting up, there’s always support available.

Check out our Financial Stress Guide, which is packed with advice on this stuff. There’s also loads of great charities and organisations who specialise in financial support. Here’s a few of them:

MoneySuperMarket have loads of useful resources to help you manage your finances
PayPlan: the UK’s largest provider of free debt solutions
The Money Charity: a charity that help people achieve financial wellbeing by managing their money well
Citizens Advice: offers advice on lots of issues, including money matters
StepChange: a debt support and advice service

3. No money doesn’t equal no fun

Remember, just because you can’t afford a round doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with your mates.

Things feel increasingly tight at the moment, and less spare cash means more of us are dropping the things we love doing. Stuff like gym memberships, hobbies, seeing your friends, or travelling can feel like luxuries to put on hold. Plus the day feels way longer without those lunch break treats.

If you’re looking to save some money, there’s still a bunch of things you can do. Swap spenny meals out for a takeaway or bring-a-dish night with your friends or family - just because you’re eating in doesn’t mean you have to dress down. Make an occasion of it.

You might also be surprised by the free activities near you, like local parks and places to hike or cycle, art exhibitions, libraries, museums, or events. Plus there’s plenty of wallet winning options like cheap comedy nights, movie marathons, games nights, or markets to explore.

4. The skint dictionary: ways to say you’re struggling with cash

There are some situations when telling someone you’re low on dough just feels tough. We got you covered.

Sometimes there’s events or spends which can be really hard to say no to - things like birthday parties and pre-wedding celebrations, a gift for Margaret the receptionist’s retirement (even though you’ve never exchanged more than a hello), or the annual mate’s holiday you’ve never missed.

It can seem like there’s a lot of pressure to spend out on things even when you can’t afford them, but honesty is the best policy. So if you’re squirming at the idea of pressing send on that message you’ve been agonising over, here’s some ways to bring it up:

“Hey, I know we had plans to do (X) but money’s a bit of a stretch at the moment. I’d still love to see you though. How about chilling at mine or this free event I found?”
“Hi, I’m struggling a bit with money at the moment, would you be pissed if I skip the meal and just join for drinks after?”
“Hey, I know we usually do (X) but cash is tight this year, is there something fun we could still do that’s on the cheaper side of things?”
“Hello, I’m really not going to be able to afford (X). Fancy meeting up to chat about it?”

5. You don’t need all the answers

We all get in a pickle sometimes - from forgotten payments to unexpected bills - managing your money isn’t always straightforward. Remember that your relationship with money might change and flex over time, but your worth is never tied to your bank balance. Just by sharing where you’re at can help take some of the pressure off.

And if someone comes to you with money worries, be there for them and approach the situation with an open mind. Unless you’re a finance whizz, it’s probably best to leave the advice to the professionals, but that doesn’t mean you can’t direct them to support if you’re concerned about their mental wellbeing.

6. If you feel like there’s no way forward, don’t struggle alone

Debt or money problems can be super overwhelming. If you’re feeling in over your head one of the best things you can do is talk to someone you trust, whether that’s a best friend, family member or a professional.

Sorting this stuff out might feel like a huge task but admitting that you’re struggling can be the first step towards dealing with things. Money can have a massive impact on your mental health, but with support we promise things can get easier.

If money’s messing with your mental health, you’re not alone. Check out our Financial Stress Guide, or if money problems are making you feel like there’s no way forward, or you're thinking of harming yourself, talk to CALM. Find out more about CALM's helpline here.