Rebecca: I want to normalise asking for help

Summer’s a time lots of us look forward to, but for many the long sunny days can highlight darker times. Our helpline receives 25% more calls in summer, that’s why we’re asking you to donate to help us answer over 18,000 potentially life-saving calls.

Thomas was 16 when he took his own life. It was a huge shock for his family and friends who didn’t know he was finding things tough. We spoke with his mum Rebecca about why she wants to normalise asking for help from services like ours.

Stuff can feel really hard when you’re a teenager. There’s exams, relationships, friendships and a whole load of feelings to navigate. Asking for help can seem overwhelming when you’re struggling, especially when it feels like your mates have got stuff together.

Thomas loved music, hanging out with his mates and playing games. He was super into psychology, but had been finding sixth form hard. But for his mum, Rebecca, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She thinks that the stigma around asking for help stopped Thomas from opening up about what he was going through:

“I knew Thomas was finding sixth form hard, but he seemed to get over the bump in the road and was doing a bit better. There was no ongoing mental health diagnosis or obvious signs when he took his own life. It was completely out of the blue.

“When we got his phone for the inquest we found notes about how he was struggling and feeling suicidal, but he hadn’t spoken to anyone about it. I think if he’d have spoken to somebody, the outcome could have been different.”

Talking helps, but taking the first step to to talk about suicidal thoughts is hard. That’s why Rebecca’s been raising awareness of CALM’s helpline and webchat. She hopes it’ll help other young people who might be struggling.

“It was important to us to raise awareness for the support that’s out there and to show that it’s normal to find things hard when you’re at such a vulnerable age. That’s why we wanted to make people aware of CALM’s helpline and webchat.”

Rebecca wanted to do something in Thomas’ memory that would show his mates it’s normal to have bad days, but that help is out there. They took on the Lost Hours Walk, a fundraising event helping to raise money and awareness for our life-saving services.

She hopes doing stuff like this will help open up conversations and support people like Thomas, who didn’t feel able to talk about what he was going through.

“If Thomas had spoken to somebody he might have realised it was normal and that there were other ways out of how he was feeling. We need to destigmatise things so that people don’t feel like a burden or like they’re trapped. There are always ways to move forward, even if you can’t see them.”

Help us to pick up the phone to people like Thomas. This summer, we’re asking you to donate to our helpline and webchat, so we can continue to be there for anyone struggling. Your donation could be life-saving.