Summer’s a time lots of us look forward to, but for many the long sunny days can highlight the darker times. Our helpline receives 25% more calls in summer, that’s why we’re asking you to donate to help us answer over 18,000 potentially life-saving calls.
13th June 2023
Marij: I was secretly using helplines to get me through
Marij knows just how important our helpline is. In July 2020, she left home with the intention of not coming back. Now, Marij wants to share how valuable services like ours are keeping people alive.
To her family and friends, Marij was happy, but she was secretly leaning on helplines to get her through panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. She wants everyone to know they have somewhere to turn when they feel alone.
“I rang helplines secretly on nights I was having panic attacks because I thought it was the end. I’d count down seconds and think within five seconds I'm going to die. When I got through there was no judgement and helpline staff were brilliant at understanding what I was going through. They gave me peace in my own mind.
“Services need to be there for people who are struggling. Even if you think someone is really at the brink, most of the time they just want help to get out of the situation.”
Marij was later diagnosed with PTSD. Her debilitating panic attacks and health anxiety made her feel like a burden to her family and friends and she was covering up the struggles she was facing everyday. After six months of pushing her feelings to the side Marij couldn’t do it anymore.
“I thought I was a massive burden and I didn’t want my husband feeling like he had to look after me. You get into a mindset where you think everybody is better off without you. I didn’t realise I was having suicidal thoughts.
“Your brain can take you to a place where you really have no control over what you do. It's not that I wanted to die, I just wanted the pain to end. I was exhausted from years of fighting anxiety and I just didn’t want to fight anymore.”
Marij is a survivor of suicide. She wants to share her experience to show that anyone can feel suicidal, but nobody is alone:
“I was just an ordinary person doing ordinary things and it happened to me. I wish somebody had told me about their experience because you feel very alone. It doesn’t matter what your background is, anyone can have suicidal thoughts. I hope by talking about it it gives people hope to push forward for the future.”
Marij is joining us in smashing the stigma around suicide by shouting about CALM’s services.
“Those calls can help you onto the path to feeling better. Unloading and talking to someone helps massively. Everything can feel overwhelming and you don’t know where to start, but support services can break things down.”
The helpline and the support Marij has received has been life changing. Not only has it helped her to see a way forward, but it’s also made it easier for her to talk to her family and friends when she’s struggling:
“The times I rang the helpline encouraged me to talk to people in my life and once you break the ice it becomes a little easier”
Help us to pick up the phone to more people like Marij. This summer, we’re asking you to donate to our helpline and webchat, so we can continue to be there for anyone struggling. Your donation could be life-saving.
