Meet The Movement
Against Suicide:
Indila's Story

When mum of six, Indila, lost her son Adam to suicide, her life was turned upside down. Now, she’s determined to show that the signs aren’t always visible when someone’s struggling. Indila was part of CALM’s The Last Photo campaign, where she raised awareness in Adam’s memory. We spoke with Indila to hear more.

Adam’s photo was one of many in The Last Photo - an exhibition that lined the South Bank in London with the last photos of people who later took their own lives. Each photo shone a light on the stories behind each smile, showing that suicidal doesn’t always look suicidal.

For Indila, the campaign was a chance to tell Adam’s story and stop other people from feeling the same way.

“Our family is very close to each other and, as you can imagine with six children, we had a very busy life. We felt like a very average family, so when Adam took his own life three years ago, it devastated us.”

Adam was 18 when he took his own life, and like so many, he showed no signs that he was struggling with suicidal thoughts. For his family, the shock of losing a loved one to suicide has been incredibly hard to come to terms with. It’s also what compelled Indila to campaign for suicide prevention:

“I used to live in a bubble where I believed this sort of thing wouldn’t touch me. By the time it did, it was too late. I was completely unaware and had no tools to help Adam when he was in need of help. It’s immensely important and this campaign is a great way to raise awareness.”

The stigma around suicide can make it uncomfortable to talk about suicidal thoughts, but even if it’s awkward, having the conversation can literally be life-saving.

“It’s often very difficult to see the warning signs. Adam had days where he felt down, but he really avoided talking about how he felt.

"Even when we sought help and looked for advice, he was very dismissive and it was just put down to exam stress."

“I wasn’t aware I should be asking Adam direct questions, because people avoid talking about suicide. Often when we see a behaviour that’s not positive we ignore it. I thought if I didn’t talk about it or give it attention, then these thoughts would just go away and obviously I was wrong. We need a different approach.”

Losing someone to suicide is unlike any other bereavement. It can be isolating and churn up a lot of conflicting emotions. It’s something Indila is still learning to cope with.

On what would have been Adam’s 21st birthday, Indila and her family installed a memorial bench in Millenium Green, the park where Adam’s Last Photo was taken, and a place where he spent a lot of time with family, friends and his dog Chewbacca. Now, Adam’s bench has become a space not only for people to go and remember him, but also a place to have those difficult conversations.

“We felt that even though we think about him every second of the day, we wanted somewhere for people to go to remember him. Losing someone to suicide is incomprehensible and one way of trying to survive losing your loved one is to find something that helps you to cope. For me, it’s engaging with charities like CALM and people I meet.

“I go to Adam’s memorial bench almost every day and it actually helps me to open up conversations with people. I tell them about Adam and how to seek help if they are struggling or know someone who is.”

Despite the devastating loss Indila and her family feel every day, she has plans to do more in the movement against suicide. She’s even found a supportive community which helps her through the especially difficult days, deciding to run the London 10K for CALM with her friend.

“Last summer, I took part in the London 10K. It was probably the first event since Adam’s death when I felt a little bit alive, more hopeful and able to do something positive in his memory. It was empowering to join other CALM runners and have support from the cheer squad in Trafalgar Square.”

Indila is still learning how to speak about suicide, but wants other people to be equipped with the tools to potentially save a life, or to know how to ask for help when things are tough.

“I wish I'd had this awareness earlier, because it might have helped our awesome Adam. I want to do everything in my power to save lives.”

Take a look at the photos featured in The Last Photo exhibition and read more about their stories here.

We have lots of useful stuff on how to save a life and tips on what to do if you’re worried about someone, or if you’re struggling, CALM’s helpline and webchat is open every day from 5pm until midnight every day.