Meet the movement against suicide: Laura's Story

When Laura lost her friend to suicide, she felt like life had been put on pause, struggling to leave the house or reach out to her mates. She told us how the Twitch community and streaming online helped her get her head back in the game and why she decided to raise money for CALM.

Laura wasn’t a massive gamer before lockdown, but she started streaming at a time when she was finding it tough to connect with her “3D friends”. She found an incredible network in the gaming community following the loss of her friend to suicide and streaming allowed her to do something in their memory.

Hosting a 12 hour stream of The Sims to raise money for CALM, Laura brought in over £3,000 to help us be there, no matter what. She’s on a mission to show the positives of gaming for mental wellbeing:

“After losing my friend I knew I wanted to do something. I’ve struggled with my mental health for quite a few years and some of my favourite people live with depression. There’s always this fear that you’re not going to know what’s going through somebody’s head.

“You could be speaking to them on a daily basis and never know how they feel, so it felt right to raise money for CALM. So many people feel alone and knowing that they’ve got somebody at the other end of the phone is priceless.”

Thousands of people join Laura’s channel from around the world, but she’s gained more than followers through streaming, she’s also found a community who are able to talk about what’s going on in their heads.

While it sometimes gets a bad rep for being antisocial, Laura’s experienced a totally different side to the virtual world, making a group of mates who have one another’s backs when things are tough:

“Finding this whole new community of people who have the same interests as me was great. If someone is having a bad day we talk about it on our big group chat. I’ve made best friends through Twitch and even though we’re scattered all across the country, we try to meet up as much as possible. Sometimes we just sit on video calls while we do other things. It’s just nice to have someone there.”

Gaming helped Laura to stay connected with people when she struggled to leave the house while grieving for her friend:

“Shortly after I lost my friend I barely got out of bed because I was grieving. One thing I’ve found through the gaming community is that you can slip into some quite difficult, deeper conversations while you’re playing. It can really open up the opportunity for more people to ask for help if they need it.

“I cut off quite a few of my 3D friends at that time. The rational part of my brain knew they weren’t going to pity or ridicule me, but my brain was telling me to just stay home and crawl under a duvet. The Twitch community dragged me out of a dark place because I wanted to block out the world, but I was still playing games. Having people there and knowing that there was still that support network was invaluable. I felt alone, but I knew I wasn’t.”

Hosting all night streams, means Laura and her mates are often up at strange times, when their other friends might not be free to chat. It’s these hours when the gaming community can be invaluable to anyone having a difficult time, something Laura noticed recently when the virtual world banded together to support a fellow streamer:

“I was speaking to a girl who was having a really tough time. She was at a very low point and asked if anyone was around to chat. The amount of people who replied to say they were around to talk made me well up a bit, because yes there are negative things about streaming, but if you can find a set of good people, it’s unbelievable.”

Gaming has helped Laura get things back on track after losing her friend, giving her a safe space to grieve and helping her to talk more openly about her own mental wellbeing. Since she set up her channel, she’s gained a pretty big following and has been able to give up her day job to stream full-time. But she doesn’t take the responsibility lightly. She’s passionate about using her platform to speak openly about depression:

“I need people to know that depression isn’t a dirty word and I’m no less me because of my depression. We need to be kind to ourselves and if we need to take a day off, that’s okay. ”

Laura hopes to host more charity streams in the future, with the help of the same community who helped her when she needed it most. She champions gaming for the escapism and connection it offers people when they’re having a difficult time, something we can definitely get on board with here at CALM:

“The same community that helped me out of a difficult place has helped me raise money for CALM. I’ll always be grateful for the friends it’s given me and how they’ve brought me back from a really low point. Just by easing myself back into it gently, and having an online presence and spending time with people virtually made it easier to get back into the world and start again.”

Game for CALM and help raise money and awareness for our life-saving services. This isn’t just gaming. This is next level. This is gaming against living miserably.

Head here to find out how you can join the team and help save lives.

If you’re looking for more useful stuff on looking after your mental health, the CALM Guides are full of things to help you with whatever’s on your mind – from anxiety and depression, to loneliness and support after suicide, we’re here for your head.

Be part of something bigger

At CALM we’re all about standing together against suicide – and we all have a part to play. Hit this link and we’ll send you a newsletter every month so you can campaign, game, fundraise, bake, race, volunteer, cheer or chat over a couple of beers… against living miserably.