Coping with Loneliness and Social Isolation

How does loneliness feel?

It can feel embarrassing or shameful to admit we feel lonely, but loneliness is a natural emotion and feeling. It does not mean you have failed in any way. The more we talk about loneliness and how it affects us all, the more likely we’ll be able to tackle it.

But loneliness is not just in your head. Humans are social creatures, which means we need to connect with others. Some studies have suggested that loneliness can be as bad for our health as addictions to smoking, drinking or eating. But the good news is, loneliness is something you can tackle. You can build up slowly, renew an old connection, find a support group, or jump right in and commit to a new social activity – there’s loads of ways to tackle feeling lonely. You can find out more about that on the NHS website.

Where can I find help?

• Find more places to get help with loneliness and social isolation here.
• You can get your thoughts and emotions out of your head using our Offload Your Thoughts tool. It can help you let off steam and get some perspective on what you're going through. Give it a go.
• If you're feeling suicidal or have thoughts of harming yourself, talk to CALM. Our helpline is open from 5pm to midnight every day. Find out more here.
• Outside of these hours, calls the Samaritans on 116 123
  
• Contact your GP for an appointment to discuss how you’re feeling.
• Join a CALM Club – CALM hosts communities that are passionate about art, football, walking, running and cycling.
• Mind has more tips on how to tackle loneliness.
• The Mix offers essential support for under 25s. Their site has lots of things you can do to help connect with others who are going through the same thing.

Dealing with Loneliness

It can be really tough to start to deal with your feelings of loneliness or isolation, especially if you don’t know where or how to start. Here’s some ways you could start to build those relationships and connections into your life. There’s no right way, but here’s some pointers.

• Re-connect: It can be a bit awkward reconnecting with an old mate, but it shouldn’t be. People drift apart for a whole host of reasons, if there’s someone you used to love spending time with, but haven’t in a while, send them a message, schedule a meet up, or have a video call.
• Talk about it: If you’ve already got a solid group of mates or family members, let them know how you’ve been feeling. People live busy lives and often social stuff is the first thing to fall through the cracks when things get busy. Sharing how you’re feeling, and scheduling in a time to chat and catch up could be all it takes. And having it scheduled in will give you something to look forward to, and time to plan if you feel worried or anxious.
• Rejection is scary: Many of us are scared to make the first move in a social or even romantic situation because of a fear of rejection. It’s fine to be worried about rejection, but studies have shown that people who experience loneliness are more likely to pick up on signs of rejection. That means they often close themselves off to protect themselves, which can impact their ability to seek out friends and relationships. So our advice here? Feel the fear and do it anyway. Even if people don’t respond, remember this says more about them than it does about you.
• Join Your Local Community: Got a passion? Use it. Having something in common with a stranger is a great way to connect with people. Search online for groups or communities in your area that have the same interests – from cycling to dungeons and dragons, there’s something for everyone. Don’t have a passion? Try something new. You never know who you’ll meet and you might even come out with a new skill. Crochet scarf anyone? CALM even have some communities of their own – find out more about CALM Clubs.
• Connect online: Social media can make us feel more connected than ever, joining communities of like minded people online is a great way to feel validated – especially if you feel like there’s no one like you in and around your area. Be wary of relying on social media too heavily – it’s no substitute for real human connection and it can make our loneliness feel worse if we get stuck in a cycle of comparing our lives the social media feeds of the people we follow.