Rob Bruce is across the airwaves 6 days a week discovering homegrown talent on his Capital Xtra evening show. But away from the microphone, Rob’s struggled with feelings of not being good enough.
We’re catching up as part of ITV2 and CALM’s How We Move series – a new show that’s all about finding new ways to look after your mental wellbeing. And, for Rob, that’s all about choosing the right mates to spend your time with.
“It's super important to have that community of people around you that get you. Sometimes we feel like we're the only people going through the thing that's in our head. But when you put out into our atmosphere, you realise there's a lot of people dealing with the same thing. And people can relate to how you're feeling, and not necessarily tell you what's going to make it right. But just connecting with someone and understanding that you're not isolated and alone.
For Rob, a time that he needed his mates more than ever was after coming back from a tour. Going from a career defining moment, back to normal life was difficult to deal with, and caused Rob to question his career and identity.
“I think I go through a lot of extreme highs and extreme lows. I went on tour with D Block Europe and I felt on top of the world. And then I came home and it was like it never happened. Life moves so fast and it really had me doubting myself. Thinking ‘am I good enough?’.”
While we’re not all on arena tours, that feeling of deflation after a big exam, a work pitch or a milestone moment in your life can be really hard to deal with. You might have even heard the term imposter syndrome, a pretty common feeling that makes you feel like you’re a fraud who is going to get ‘found out’. And, the truth is, the pressure that we feel is usually created in our own head. That was definitely the case for Rob.
“I ended up feeling really down. Questioning everything. Like, if it was so great, then why hasn’t X, Y or Z happened. I expected so much from myself, when really I should have been celebrating doing a really, proper good thing.”
When he feels like he’s failing, or is being too harsh on himself, Rob has learnt to surround himself with people who do recognise his value.
“When you're feeling like you're not being seen or you're not being valued, you’ve got to chase the people that are building you up. Because there's always someone that has positive things to say about you.
“When you're in that headspace where you're not telling yourself anything positive, it's hard to take in things that people are saying from the outside. But you have to. You have to surround yourself with people that love you for you, not because you're popular or because you're funny, or because you've got X amount of likes on Instagram.”
When you’re feeling crap, it can be hard to find the motivation to actually be social. Rob’s got a solution for that.
“Whenever I get into my own head, I like to go back to a time when I was happy, and then call someone from around that time. Because it sort of takes you away from where you are now, which might not feel great. You get to live in a moment in the past for a little bit and be inspired to make a new moment in the future, instead of just being bogged down in where you are.”
Catch the full How We Move series from ITV here.
And if you’re struggling, there’s loads of support over on our Get Help Guides.