6th May 2022

How To: Make Mates

Name: Campaign Against Living Miserably
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Feeling Lonely How-Tos Supporting Mates

How-Tos Supporting Mates Relationships Advice

Mates. We take the piss out of them, drink pints with them and share deep chats with them, but we can also drift apart from them, or find it hard to make them. Whether you’ve lost touch, or you’re feeling on your own, a lack of mates can make you feel really lonely. We’ve put together some ways to make new friends and stay connected with old ones.

Making new mates as an adult can be intimidating. It’s no longer as simple as sharing a bag of wotsits at lunchtime or giving someone a friendship bracelet to let them know you’re bffs. The fear of rejection when trying to make mates as an adult hits different, but that doesn’t mean you can’t kindle new friendships (or share a bag of wotsits with someone you like). Here’s some stuff to get you started.

1. Get chatting to the neighbours

Ok, they don’t have to be your neighbours - but chatting with people you see regularly, whether it’s the postie or the bloke next door, can be an ace way of creating new friendships.

Remember when you’d ask the kid next door for a game of football? You might not fancy a game, but sometimes it’s easy to overlook the potential mates you see during your everyday life. Who knows, maybe you’ll be invited over for a BBQ next time you’re taking the bins out.

Here’s how some of you lot did it:

2. Fed up of awkward chat? There’s an app for that.

Friendship apps might sound strange, but they’re a great way to start a conversation with someone on the same page.

Whether you’ve drifted apart from your school mates, are flying solo in a fresh place, or miss hanging out with people – there’s lots of reasons why you might be looking to spark up a conversation with someone new. There’s loads of apps out there that help you connect with new faces, from Meet My Dog where you can meet fellow dog owners, to Locals, Bumble Bff and Yubo (Under 18s).

You guys told us about your favourite friendship apps:

3. Use your hobby as a way to hang out

Joining a club can help you beat loneliness, plus it’s way easier to chat when you’re doing something you love.

Whether you’ve got a passion for pickled onions or a fondness for fabergé eggs, chances are there are people out there who share the same hobbies. From football to art, get together, do what you love and feel better for it. Check out our chat with some awesome social cycling groups to hear more about how great clubs are for your head.

Here’s some of your favourites:

4. Be open to meeting people in unexpected places

You never know when you might strike up an unlikely alliance with a stranger.

Studies have shown that connecting with a stranger can help us feel happier and more connected with our communities and while putting yourself out there can seem scary, it can also open up new friendships. Maybe you’ll be down the bread aisle of the supermarket or on your holidays when you meet your new best mate.

You told us some of the places you’ve met new pals:

5. Reconnect with old mates

We get it, it’s hard to keep in touch with your mates as well as balancing all that boring grown up stuff.

Life happens. And the friends you had when you were younger or at a different stage in your life sometimes drift away. But that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. If you’ve fallen out of touch with mates who made you feel good, there’s no harm in re-connecting.

Getting your free time to align can feel like more of a mission than going to space. So if you’re struggling, drop them a message or meme, arrange to play a video game together, share a lift to work, or tie it in with existing plans (even if that’s going to the gym or binge watching shit TV). Checking in can make a massive difference to you and your mate.

We’re here to help if you’re feeling on your own. Check out the CALM Guides for support and advice on issues like loneliness and social isolation.

Be part of something bigger

At CALM we’re all about standing together against suicide – and we all have a part to play. Hit the link below and we’ll send you a newsletter every month so you can campaign, game, fundraise, bake, race, volunteer, cheer or chat over a couple of beers…against living miserably.

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