Support for Self-Harm

Why do people self-harm?

Self-harming is often a way of coping with painful feelings, memories or feeling overwhelmed. People self-harm may do so for a whole host of reasons, including:

• Seeking to escape traumatic memories or current situations.
• Gaining a sense of control or something that they can rely on when they feel powerless or surrounded by chaos.
• Feeling they deserve to be punished for feelings or experiences.
• Stopping a feeling of numbness, or to ground them in the here-and-now.
• Expressing something painful that they can’t verbalise.
• Relieving tension.
• Expressing suicidal thoughts without ending their life.

Self-harm can start as a coping mechanism, often as a reaction to change or to things we can’t control. The release that this gives can be really addictive and can begin to take over your life, becoming difficult to control.

Although those who self-harm are more at risk of suicide, self-harm is often not about trying to kill yourself – in fact it can be used as a way of dealing with things to avoid feeling suicidal. People may even be expressing a desire for help because they feel they have nowhere else to go.

You can find more about getting help for self-harm on the NHS website. If you are thinking about self-harming or are worried about something you have done, your GP can help.

Where can I find help?

• If you're feeling suicidal or have thoughts of harming yourself, talk to CALM. Our helpline is open from 5pm to midnight every day. Find out more here.
• Outside of these hours, calls the Samaritans on 116 123.
• You can get your thoughts and emotions out of your head using our Offload Your Thoughts tool. It can help you let off steam and get some perspective on what you're going through.
• Contact your GP for an appointment (which might be done over the phone or by video – during covid19)
  
• Self-refer yourself to NHS Psychological Therapies
• Find more support at SelfharmUK
• Find more places to get help here.
• If you concerned about an injury, you can call NHS 111 services, contact your GP or call 999

Dealing with self-harm

Hurting yourself comes with serious health risks on top of the distress that you may be feeling. If you feel you have to do it, only use clean tools, and treat your cuts or burns immediately, don’t leave them to worsen.

However, there are alternatives to try to minimise risk from physical damage. They’re not totally risk free either but may help in the moment. For instance

• Hurting an object instead of yourself – ripping into a cushion, tearing up magazines, Using a red pen to mark on your skin where you might want to hurt yourself
• Punching a pillow, grabbing it and screaming into it
• Rubbing an ice-cube on your skin or hold it under your arms or legs
• Flicking an elastic band against yourself
• Having a cold shower or bath
• Use this distrACT app to help you deal with your feelings
• If you feel you have to self harm, keep everything clean and treat any wounds.
• Find medical support if you need it. No matter how you become injured, you are always deserving and entitled to medical treatment.

Resisting the urge to hurt yourself isn’t easy. It can be really helpful to share your feelings with a trusted person or service. If you can get to the bottom of what has brought you on this road and get your feelings out, you will be able to find the route away from it.

Talking about self-harm

It can be difficult to talk about self-harm with your friends, family or a medical professional.

Find more information on how to talk about it from The Mix.

Here's some ways you can start a conversation around how you’re feeling: