Having been in relationships for much of my life, since I was 19, I find myself in the curious position of being completely single. This is new, and frankly, terrifying.
My prior relationships came to an end because of me; my inability to acknowledge my personal problems, leading to infidelity and emotional distance from partners. This self-perpetuating cycle of gratification and self-loathing has led me to my current predicament. However, I have made a decision to be a different, better person.
Men don’t like asking for help. Depression is seen as a sign of weakness, despite much being done by charities such as CALM to raise awareness of this disease in men. It’s a very real problem, one exacerbated by modern life and the pressures to conform, compete, and live up to the modern ideal, which is, day by day, made all the more unreachable by an irresponsible media.
But, I have asked for help. I’ve been open about how I feel with those I love, and I’ll soon be undertaking some counselling. It’s been liberating to get it out in the open, and I urge anyone reading this who identifies with any of this, to be open about it. It’s working for me.
So, 2012 will see a better me. For the first time in my life, I’m not going to rely on anyone else for my happiness. I’m learning to do things by myself and invest in friendships, new experiences and general good stuff. I’m honest about what I do and the way I feel. THIS is the way forward.
I constantly hear the terms ‘my other half’ or ‘I’m looking for someone to make me happy’. These, I have learnt are not healthy foundations on which to build a relationship. I want to be happy WITH someone, not BECAUSE of someone.
So, when the time is right to enter a relationship, I’ll be doing it to share life’s cool stuff with a special person, because let’s face it, life is better shared.
Just like the lone toothbrush, I stand alone. BUT, that’s good… we look forward onto a blank canvas… Oh the possibilities!
If you want to read more of South Walian Alien’s story, do so at: