Ask CALM:
What If I Fail My Exams?

Hey CALM,

I’m waiting for my A Level results, and can’t stop worrying about what I’ll do if they’re bad. My mocks were ok, but I messed up in one of the exams and can’t stop thinking about it. I should’ve done more revision and feel dumb for wasting my time.

Everyone keeps saying it’ll be fine, but that doesn’t help. What if it isn’t? I’m scared of getting my results and having to tell my dad. It doesn’t feel like he’s listening and the pressure is really getting to me.

I don’t want to work in a shop all my life. I really want this. I don’t know what I'm going to do if I fail.

Ali

Hey Ali,

Waiting for any kind of result or decision is tough, and it’s natural to think of the worst case scenario. Interview, exam, driving test, they can all make us nervous, and cause loads of stress. It’s actually normal to feel that way when we care about something.

But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be realistic, we’ve all failed at a test or an exam at some point, and when you know you’ve not done as well as you could have it’s tough.

You mentioned feeling frustrated that you hadn’t done enough revision, and it makes sense that you you feel this way. It’s actually a common feeling, no matter how hard you revise or prepare. That’s because preparation and revision are examples of things that are almost limitless. When something doesn’t have an end, it’s easy to feel like we could have done more. There's no point punishing yourself, what's happened has happened, and you probably needed rest or down time while you were studying.

When it comes to the lead up to results day, think about what your options are in both outcomes and get comfortable with them. That way, when you get your results, you’ll know what to do next and won’t be as overwhelmed. Exams are exams, and you can usually resit, sometimes even while doing the qualification or job you’ve applied for. Talk to your tutor or school/college and get some advice and information from them - they're the experts, so they'll be able to help. It sounds like you already have a job, so you’ve got some security in knowing you can earn money you need while you figure out your options.

A plan could look a little like this:

Results are not what you hoped

• Tell people who need to know - your course, your job, your family, any accommodation you are planning to move into etc

• Find out what they suggest and any support they can offer - most places will have a process to help you find out what you need.

• Share what you’re going to do next - resit while working, speak to your application manager - or get talking about it so you can make a decision.

• Chat to some mates about how you’re feeling and what you’re worried about. Try to switch off for a bit. You deserve a rest after all the stress of waiting. Completing your exams is an achievement in itself.

Results are what you hoped

• Tell people who need to know - your course, your job, your family, any accommodation you are planning to move into

• Chat to some mates about how you’re feeling and what you’re worried about. Try to switch off for a bit. You deserve a rest after all the stress of waiting.

• Make sure you're happy with the path you're choosing. Giving a decision time and space can be helpful.

You mentioned feeling like your dad isn’t listening when you share your worries. Of course, your dad probably just wants to be optimistic and support you, but hearing that positivity when you don’t feel it’s deserved can add extra pressure. Try having a conversation with him to share your worries, and let him know that his expectations are making you feel more stressed.

Relationships with family are all different, so do what works for you, but it might start something like…

Dad, I know you want the best for me, but I’m really worried that I am going to fail my exams. They didn’t go as planned, and I'm scared I won’t be able to do what I was hoping. I just wanted to let you know now so that you’re prepared. Pretending that I'm going to pass is adding more pressure. I want us to be realistic.

I’ve taken a look at some options for if I fail, so that I know what to do.

Lastly, your question talks a lot about failure, while it doesn’t feel like it now, life is not that black and white. While things might not go to plan, there’s always a way forward - some of the most successful people didn’t get it right straight away and giving yourself time and space to figure out your next steps is never a bad thing.

Whatever your results say, remember they don’t define you or your worth.

We hope that helps, but if you need to talk more, our helpline is open from 5pm to midnight every day or you can find more support around exams here.