WHAT IF MY DIVORCE OR SEPARATION IS COMPLICATED?
There are some important options to consider that may help your situation and make a resolution easier to achieve.
One of these options is relationship or family counselling. If you have children, this might also help you explain the situation to them better so they are less affected by the separation, and can help you to communicate better in order to understand and resolve problems, and find a way to move forward.
If you choose to open up to a family or couples counsellor, they can provide confidential and non-judgmental support. Talking is difficult, but necessary to reach a resolution so you’ll be encouraged to share your thoughts and feelings on the situation. In the first few sessions the counsellor will ask you to talk through what’s happening and what you’d like to change, you’ll then work together with the counsellor to decide what happens next.
Even if you still retain a good relationship with your ex-partner, talking about money and children can lead to arguments, which make things more difficult.
An option to consider in this situation is mediation, which differs from family counselling and is often used once a couple’s attempt to reach agreements has failed. Any discussion you have with a mediator should be in a safe, non-judgmental environment where you and your partner can discuss the practical issues that are involved in divorce.
What about my kids?
One of the most difficult things to do when separating is discussing it with your children. It is important to try not to involve them in conflict and to minimize the stress they might feel at home by reassuring them that even though you’re not in a relationship with their parent, you’ll still be part of their life.
It can be easy to take your feelings out on other people, including your children, when things are tough, but remember that a relationship breakdown is out of their control. If you are struggling and need to talk, the CALM helpline is available from 5pm to midnight.