I am a sick man.
Ask any of my friends. I am banned in my flat from picking a film. After forcing my troupe to see one film recently, no one trusts me to take them to the cinema any more.
I hate “normal” films. The Matrix was good for about five seconds when I was fifteen, Love Actually makes me physically sick. Don’t even talk to me about Happy Feet.
I can do nice films, on occasion, but generally speaking you’ll find me in my room watching an obscure French horror film where pigs are raped and people crucified.
If you know which film I refer to, you suffer from the same obsession. For those who do not, it is called The Ordeal and is more funny than scary.
The internet has enabled man to pour his attention over things like never before. Some people masturbate furiously over nipple slips. Some follow their football team to such attention they can tell you if a goalkeeper has irregular bowel movements.
The internet has enabled me to do something else. To seek out new gore and degradation, to go where few men have gone before and fewer want to. I watch horror films.
I am not in love with famous horror films per se, such as Saw, though I did watch up until film four before I began to wish Jigsaw was murdering me so the whole thing would end.
Mainly I seek out obscure and visceral, violent, intense films. I highly recommend Bloody-disgusting.com for those of you thinking this pursuit appeals, as well as Amazon, who stock everything made ever, as far as I can ascertain.
Martyrs is bloody and violent and ultimately rewarding, Trailer Park of Terror funny and creepy, The Descent downright abusive and Ringu mentally scarring. I could keep going, each film has its charms to me. Such is my disposition.